Rules for Dating Bridgette
by Winter-Rae
Summary: Ezekiel is waiting to take Bridgette on their first date when he gets cornered by some of her good friends. And all of them willing to explain to him the rules for dating their favourite girl. Main: Ezekiel/Bridgette.


**Rules for Dating Bridgette**

**Title:** Rules for Dating Bridgette

**Summary:** Ezekiel is waiting to take Bridgette on their first date when he gets cornered by some of her good friends. And all of them willing to explain to him the rules for dating their favourite girl.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing!

**Warnings:** Humour, all that jazz

**Pairings:** Main: Ezekiel/Bridgette, Side: Duncan/LeShawna, Gwen/Harold, Tyler/Eva

**Winter-Rae:** A 'just because' gift for **The Kobold Necromancer**. Hope you like it hun! Enjoy!

* * *

**Rules for Dating Bridgette**

Ezekiel paced nervously as he waited for Bridgette. It had taken him three years of knowing her, but he had finally done it. He had plucked up the courage and asked the girl of his dreams out on a date.

After being encouraged by his best friends Tyler and Harold; he decided he better take the plunge and do it before Justin tried to date her. He had been trying to 'pick her up' for the past few months now. Why Bridgette picked him over Justin he wasn't sure but he wasn't complaining either.

When he managed to ask Bridgette out for dinner, he had been expecting an outright 'No.' So he had been preparing for that but when she answered 'Yes' he was at a loss for words. His mouth hung open in shock and Tyler had to make the plans with Bridgette for him, since he was no longer capable of speech.

'Thank goodness for Tyler,' Ezekiel thought to himself as he continued to pace. He was surprised however when a hand clapped on both of his shoulders. He glanced up and blanched as LeShawna and Eva looked down at him.

"Umm, hi girls," he said nervously.

"Hey there Zeke," LeShawna said with a devious smile to rival Eva's own.

"Is there something you need?" he asked.

"No," Eva replied, "But there is something you need."

"Oh?"

Before he could call for help the two tough girls lifted him up by his arms and dragged him to one of the back rooms.

It was dark in said room with a chair in the center and a slide projector standing beside it. He was plopped into the chair and a light flashed on. Ezekiel had to wait until his eyes adjusted before he could focus. It turned out that LeShawna and Eva weren't the only people interested in his capture.

Standing at the only exit, and thus blocking his means of escape, with their arms crossed over their chests; was Duncan and Tyler.

"Umm, hey guys," he greeted.

"Zeke," they replied. Ezekiel swallowed nervously, wondering if he had done something to get him into trouble. Eva and LeShawna walked to the front of the room where Gwen was also waiting.

"What's this about you guys?" he asked.

"We'll do the talking kid," Eva growled. Ezekiel winced and fell silent.

"Come on Eva you're gonna scare him," a new voice said. Ezekiel turned to the slide projector and saw that Harold was standing next to it, ready to work it.

"That's the whole point isn't it?" Eva asked.

"Well kinda."

"Then shut it nerd boy."

"Hey," Gwen said, "Watch it Eva, that's my nerd you're talking to."

Eva rolled her eyes and the others snickered.

"Back to business!" LeShawna said, "Lights please baby boy."

"You got it sugar," Duncan said as he flicked off some of the lights again.

"So I bet you're wondering what you are doing here, right Zeke?" Gwen asked.

"Yes ma'am," the prairie teen replied, nodding quickly.

"It has come to our attention that you want to date Bridgette," Eva said as she paced, "While some of us are sure your intentions are noble, due to past offenses done to Bridgette, we have decided to make sure you aren't just trying to get her in the sack."

"Sack?" Ezekiel asked.

"In bed Zeke," Tyler pointed out. Ezekiel gasped.

"Oh I would never disrespect Bridgette like that," he said, sounding truly appalled, "I really care about her eh."

The three girls at the front of the room nodded.

"Right, so we feel there are certain rules you need to know when it comes to dating Bridgette," Gwen said, nodding to Harold. He flicked on the projector and the first picture was of Bridgette in just her regular hoodie and shorts. Ezekiel smiled. She was so pretty and he really liked that picture of her. Bridgette never needed to put on make-up or fancy clothes to look pretty, she just was. Ezekiel was certain that she could shave her head and dye her scalp puke green and still look amazing.

"We made these rules," LeShawna said, "To avoid another catastrophe that her ex-boyfriend put her through."

The next picture to go up was one of Geoff. Only it looked like someone else had gotten to it and had scribbled a moustache, eye patch and blacked out some of his teeth. LeShawna sighed.

"Duncan, did you have to?"

"I couldn't help it sugar."

She rolled her eyes and went on.

"Anyway, you know Bridgette was broken hearted when Geoff broke up with her, right?"

Ezekiel nodded. That break up had come as a surprise to everyone as they always thought Geoff was a good guy. That is until Total Drama Action and the Aftermath show happened.

"So we devised these rules to ensure that guys dating her will treat her right," Eva said.

"I thought you did like Bridgette eh?"

Eva scoffed.

"I, unlike some people, can let go of things," she said, "Besides, I now know it wasn't her fault I got kicked off. My own temper, you've seen how bad I can get. Anyway, moving on."

Gwen nodded.

"Listen up! Rule one: you are allowed to ask her on a date, as you already have done. But if she said 'no' then you would have to wait a week before you asked her again. You are not to pressure her or blackmail her into a date," the goth girl said, "Not if you want to live of course."

Ezekiel swallowed nervously.

"Rule two," Duncan said, "You are to arrive early for the date, or on time. You are never to be late. She, on the other hand, can be as late as he needs to be. If you do find yourself to be late you either better have a damn good excuse or don't bother showing up. And if you don't come to the door to pick her up, but honk the horn of your damn car, I will personally push said car into the river...with you in the trunk."

Ezekiel shuddered.

"You are to arrive with a gift," LeShawna went on, "This can include flowers, which I see you brought, jewellery, chocolates, or other such tokens. You are never allowed to turn up empty handed and you have to show us the gift so we can see if it's suitable or not. If not, I would suggest running, very fast."

Ezekiel was starting to wonder when these six became too protective over Bridgette.

"I'm sure that you have been told that in today's world, sex without a barrier can be deadly," Eva added as she rested her hands on the arms of Ezekiel's chair and looked him deep in the eyes, "Let me elaborate: When it comes to sex, I am the barrier and I will kill you."

"I'd never pressure Bridgette into doing anything eh," he whimpered timidly. Eva smirked and patted his head.

"Good boy."

"Now Zeke," Tyler said, finally adding his piece to the rules, "I know that you have become very popular with the fans and you probably have other opportunities for dating. This is totally cool with us as long as it's okay with Bridgette. Otherwise, once you go out with her, you will continue to do so until she is through. You are not allowed to dump her, if the relationship is to come to an end, she will end it. And I'm sorry to say this Zeke, but if you make her cry...we'll make you cry."

"Wow, babe," Eva said, "You sound so sexy when you threaten someone."

Tyler beamed.

"Thanks sweetie."

"If you make Bridgette cry for any negative reason at all," Eva added, "Be prepared for a long and painful death. Don't bother trying to run from me either. I have contacts and I will find you."

"You have contacts?" Duncan asked. Eva shrugged.

"I have relatives in the States who are in the FBI and CIA."

Duncan whistled, very impressed.  
"As you wait for Bridgette to be finished getting ready and more than an hour goes by, don't fidget or complain," the punk added next, "Instead do something useful; dishes, laundry, changing the oil in my car, all that jazz."

LeShawna chuckled.

"When Bridgette finally does come down for your date you are to right away tell her how beautiful she is."

"She is beautiful," Ezekiel said, "Prettiest girl I have ever seen in my life."

"Awww," Gwen and LeShawna coursed. Eva rolled her eyes.  
"Don't touch her in front of us," she barked at Ezekiel, "You may look at her but you're to keep your eyes on her face at all times, nothing lower. If you can't keep your hands off of her, be ready to lose them. With a steak knife."

Ezekiel put up his hand.

"Yes?" Tyler asked.

"What if she wants to hug me or something?"

"If she initiates touching then its fine, no ass grabbing though," Eva warned. Ezekiel nodded quickly.

"Now there are certain places that are not good for a date," Gwen said, counting them off on her fingers, "Places with sofas beds or anything softer than a wooden stool or folding chair; places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight; places where there is darkness; places where the ambient temperature would induce Bridgette to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts or anything other than her hoodie and long shorts. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folk's homes are better."

"Why are those places okay eh?" Ezekiel asked.

"It hard to get romantic in those places," Duncan pointed out.  
"Don't try to lie to us either Ezekiel," Eva said, "We might just be a goth, a nerd, a punk, a loudmouth, a jock and a rage fit waiting to happen but we're not stupid. On issues relating to Bridgette we are the all-knowing Gods and Goddesses of your universe. If we ask where you're going you will tells us. If not, well there's a shotgun a shovel and ten acres of land behind my parent's hours. That's a lot of ground to cover."

"When you guys are out on your date, no touching!" Harold barked, making Ezekiel jump, "If Eva or Duncan rip off your arm first and then ram it down your throat, what would kill you first? The loss of blood or choking to death? If you hurt Bridgette, you'll be the first to find out."

Ezekiel looked at Harold in shock. The nerd smiled and shrugged sheepishly.

"Sorry Zeke, Bridgette's my best friend."

"Right," Ezekiel said, "I just didn't think you were capable of stuff like that eh."

"Well, with my wicked mad ninja skills I could remove a man's arms and legs without it killing him for a week."

The prairie teen shuddered; somehow he didn't doubt Harold's mad skills anymore.

"You are not allowed to make the first move," LeShawna said, "If Bridgette wants more intimacy she will initiate it. Until then, you do nothing!"

"You are not to nag, push, or rush her during the date either," Duncan added, "Bridgette got enough of that from Geoff and she doesn't need it from you. She is a very sensitive girl and doesn't want to be pushed into something she does not want to do."

"You are to pay from everything," Gwen said, "You will only spilt the bill is she insists. But you asked her out so you pay for everything."

Ezekiel nodded. He understood all of these rules and thought most of them to be pretty decent. Aside from the ones that resulted in him being beaten, or killed. Those ones he could do without.

"If someone tries hit on Bridgette while you're on the date you are not permitted to beat the crap out of them," Eva said, she then held up her hand as Ezekiel tried to protest, "You are, however, to find out any and all information you can on him and remember his face. Leave the rest, to me."

"Would you really hurt them bad Eva?" Ezekiel asked.

"Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies," she replied. The glint in her eyes made Ezekiel shudder.

"So, as soon as you pull into the driveway," Harold went on, "You should exit your car, with your hands in plain sight, then walk around and open Bridgette's door for her. Then announce in a clear voice that you have brought her home safely. Then return to your side of the car and move on. There is no need for you to come inside, unless she expects you to walk her to the door. And if that happens you have to let her initiate the 'goodnight kiss.'"

While some of these rules were freaking Ezekiel out he could appreciate that the others were just trying to keep an eye out for their friend.

"The camouflaged faces you'll see in the windows, trees, roof, and bushes will be us," Duncan pointed out, "And just ignore the little red dots hovering around your head and chest."

"Okay," Tyler said, clapping his hands together and once again making Ezekiel jump, "Is everything clear?"

"Umm, yeah, I guess so."

"Good!"

The jock pulled him to his feet and threw an arm around his shoulder.

"No worries Zeke, you'll be fine."

"Oh yeah," Harold said in agreement.

Ezekiel was starting to wonder if dating Bridgette was going to be worth dealing with these six all the time; especially now that they were acting as if nothing had happened. He left the room with the others and looked up as he heard soft footsteps coming down the steps.

"I'm ready Zeke," Bridgette called out. The moment Ezekiel saw her however, dressed in a pretty blue dress, but still wearing her usual sporty sandals, he knew it was all worth it. Bridgette would be worth going to hell and back, worth facing Eva's wrath, even worth being beaten within an inch of his life.

Bridgette cocked her head to the side and observed her friends for a moment.

"What's going on?" she asked, curling a stand of her blonde hair around her finger and blushing slightly. Ezekiel sighed and suddenly the other six knew that scaring him had been totally unnecessary.

"Bridgette, you look beautiful," he said. His voice wasn't shaking with fear at the threats he had been given, but filled with sincerity, enough of it to make Bridgette blush even more.

"Thanks," she said shyly, "Lindsey helped me get ready."

"Thanks for letting me take you out eh," Ezekiel said. Bridgette laughed.

"Oh Zeke, don't be so formal, I'm thrilled to be going out on a real date for once."

She then held out her hand to him and Ezekiel took it. Despite the horrifying ordeal he just went through. Actually he wouldn't mind going through it again since it was for her.

As the new couple left the house, their eyes only for each other, the other six stood at the door all grinning at each other. Duncan had an arm around LeShawna's shoulders; Harold had pulled Gwen into a soft embrace and Eva holding Tyler's hand. They waved to Bridgette as Ezekiel opened the door of his car for her.

"Isn't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?" Gwen asked.

"Totally," LeShawna said in agreement, she then sighed, "Reminds me of our first date, right Duncan?"

"What? Oh, yeah, sure."

The punk wasn't really paying attention, even when LeShawna nudged him. He was watching Ezekiel car and as soon as it was gone he looked at Harold and Eva.

"Okay, they're gone, quick, let's go follow them!"

Tyler, Gwen and LeShawna could only shake their heads as the other three hurried to Harold's car.

"You guys, that's not necessary!" Tyler called after them. However, his objection fell on deaf ears.

"Shotgun!" Eva announced, "And I meant the seat not the actual weapon."

"I think we took this protecting Bridgette a little too far," Gwen mused as the other vehicle then peeled out of the driveway. LeShawna smacked her forehead.

"Idiots."

* * *

**Winter-Rae:** Well that was fun. Lots of love for Bridgette. And before you say anything, in my little TDI world Eva and Bridgette are friends. End of story. I hope you liked this Kobold! Thanks for reading everyone! Cheers!


End file.
